In the meantime, have a Happy New Year everyone. Do raise a glass in abundant celebration of all that you've been blessed with. When they say that much of the world lives amidst sickness and dirt, it is in no way a metaphor.
Right now! Tonight (yes, TONIGHT) at 12 Galaxies: What's Your Answer? Okay, so I'm a little late in promoting this. No matter. That only makes it all that much more "hip" and "underground". So shake off your Santacon nog/sterno hangover and drag your mistletoes down to 12 Galaxies for another merry installment of our new smash-hit show: What's Your Answer? The Pub Quiz night where YOU tell us WHAT the answers are.
Celebrity judges! Odditory accompaniment by K-ROB!! Actual prize money actually donated to the winner's charity of choice!!! (After last month's debut WYA show, we were able to donate $75 to Todd Blair's medical fund. w00t!)
The shtick is this: it's just like a pub trivia night, except that the funniest answers win! You write your answers (solo or with teammates) then perform them onstage. Hopefully, everyone laughs! If not, you're not drinking enough! It's as entertaining as you are!
Enough blogging. Come on out! Where: 12 Galaxies (Mission St. Btw. 21st & 22nd) When: NOW NOW NOW (but you still have enough time to get here before the show starts) Who: Rick! Abruzzo, Colin, myself and, most importantly, YOU!
Zero Punctuation reviews The Orange Box Another excellent installment in Yahtzee's ass-splittingly funny series of over-caffeinated rants-cum-videogame reviews. Even if you're not a HL2 aficionado, I recommend watching until he gets to TF2 and the already much-lauded Portal.
What's Your Answer? From the same people who've chosen to accept the BLAME (and some limited legal responsibility) for such FAMOUS travesties as URBAN Golf, The BUZZED BEE, The $25,000 Pyramid Scheme, and Crackhouses For Humanity comes the most COMPELLING underground entertainment EVENT of the first part of this week:
At "What's Your Answer?" we don't care how many obscure historical facts you've memorized, or which team has kept up to date on the latest dirt about Britney Lohiltonhan, or who knows which rogue nation just now broke off all diplomatic ties with the U.S. and is threatening an imminent nuclear attack. Well, okay, we might care a little bit about that last one. But ONLY if your answer is funny.
That's right. The answer that gets the most LAUGHS will also get the most points, as awarded by our panel of celebrity judges. At "What's Your Answer?" there's NO NEED to actually KNOW ANYTHING, just so long as you and your team can crack wise. Or crack stupid. We really DON'T care. But at the end of the night, the team with the most points will win some fabulously crass PRIZES, and bragging rights (or "street cred") redeemable within a laughably small and hopelessly ESOTERIC local sub-culture!!!
This NOT-TO-BE-MISSED show will DEBUT at 9pm on MONDAY the 26th at renowned Mission Street hotspot 12 GALAXIES.
$5 dollars admission, no one turned away for lack of funds, taste, timing or tact.
When: 7:30pm Thursday 10/11 Wear: duct tape on torso to indicate participation Where: The NW corner of the Main Library Larkin Street, by Fulton The large metal sculpture (aka "The Double-L Gyratory Zomby Attractor") [Google Maps Link]
Many of you were already wisely taking precautions to stay far far far away from that area already due to the San Francisco MAYORAL DEBATE going on at the EXACT SAME TIME. Hopefully the undead attackers will be subdued before the the debate is completed and the hundreds of attendees leave the building through the single exit pointed directly at Larkin and Fulton.
Those good citizens, though likely disenfranchised and disillusioned, are not disembrained, and may thus prove IRRESISTABLE to the shambling cerebrophillic horde.
If defeat is unsuccessful, an unknown party has offered to capture as many zombies possible inside a bus, and drive them all to a classified area (in the Mission) for complimentary "embalming fluid" afterwards.
- - - - - - -
A recap of basic zombie mob procedures & etiquette:
Show up at the meeting point on time. Arrive dressed as either a zombie (fake blood, torn clothing, vacant stare) or a zombie victim (place a piece of duct tape somewhere visible upon your person, and wear clothes that you do not mind having torn and bloodied). Act like zombies. Attack and "convert" victims. (If you have it, bring extra blood and makup for conversions.) Shamble where the mob shambles. Have fun, but be respectful of innocent bystanders and private property.
1. If you are wearing duct tape on your torso, the mob will attack you, ruin your clothes, eat your brains. 2. Zombies will not get blood on innocent bystanders or their things. 3. Zombies will leave private property reasonably soon after being asked. 4. Zombies who don’t exhibit these behaviors will be beaten into shape by their fellow horde.
NOTE: Even if you didn't come to work today in "zombie attire" please JOIN US regardless. A shamble and a moan is more than costume enough, and the MORE zombies, the BETTER. (Or worse, really.)
Further details and updates at eatbrains.com. Photo by Scott Beale / Laughing Squid.
First, the beloved (and feared) SF-based zombie go-go dancers, "The Living Dead Girlz" have released their music video "BRAINS", a memetastic monster mash-up parody of Kelly's intardwebz song-du-femtosecond, "Shoes". YouTube linkage below, of which click-through (and copious re-blogging) is mandatory.
Next, I've begun to get disturbing reports of a IMMINENT undead outbreak, localized somewhere in San Francisco THIS THURSDAY NIGHT. Prepare your zombie protective gear, stay closely tuned here, or follow the updates on eatbrains.com for further details.
Here's an update from Nifer on tomorrow's tomfoolery:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ WHEN ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2 o'clock, Sunday, September 30th
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ WHERE ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ We will meet at the intersection of 8th & Folsom at 2pm, and park ourselves either at that intersection, or perhaps closer to Folsom & 9th if that's where we find a spot. (Located between 8th & 9th seems good, in that it isn't too close to a performance stage.) I suppose it depends exactly when we arrive there and what we see what our options are. Here's a mappy: http://folsomstreetevents.org/gmaps/folsom-map.php
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And lastly, the list of Stuff We Could Still Use MORE Of: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ + Silver serving platters (It's all about the POSH!) + Tea Cups & Saucers - mismatching would be cute! + Tea-spiking stuff-- whiskey, rum, Irish Cream (can't have enough, no?) + Small Eats - Ideas: Tea Biscuits, Crumpets with jars of Devon Cream or Lemon Curd, Petits Fours (Scones are being brought, but we should have more nibbles please!)
ps. We're bringing several large thermoses (thermooses?) of tea, but it's all black (English Breakfast, Earl Grey). If you have other, more particular tea needs, such as green or herbal, you may want to BYOT.
As many of you may have already heard, Nifer is hosting a lovely get-together at this year's Folsom Street Fair, a buttoned-down, starched up, formal tea party, with picnic baskets, cucumber sandwiches, and lots and lots of white, Victorian dresses. All of which should stand in ridiculously stark contrast to the sea of black leather and hairy buttocks at Folsom Street.
(Which I've also reproduced below for your convenience)
I haven't attended Folsom Street Fair in years, but I was inspired with an idea that would make all the trouble worthwhile..... a Prim & Proper Picnic, SMACK DAB in the middle of Folsom!
I'm inviting all my queer ladies and gentlepersons, to join me for this VERY CONSERVATIVE affair. We will drink (spiked?) tea from little china cups, and eat little cucumber sandwiches seated upon our quilted blanket, spread out right in the middle of the action.
I think to really make this work, we need to be completely *opposite* on the wardrobe spectrum of our leather & latex clad compatriots. Please come wearing only PRIM & PROPER attire. (I'm thinking English tea time, or 1920's picnic era....)
Feminine Attire: - BIG sun hats, or -tiny- hats - Parasols - Long frilly dresses
Masculine Attire: - Tweed suits - Knickerbockers - Mustaches - Cravats (neck scarves), bow ties, and other ties - Bowler hats, Flat-top straw hats, & Newspaper boy caps
Because this is a queer affair, I *strongly* encourage you to play with the theme and adopt it to your personal idea of gender identity and orientation..... but please stay within the theme, that "Modesty is the new kink".
PLEASE RSVP, so I can organize who is bringing what edibles or other supplies to the picnic, (and also to coordinate our arrival time). Send an email to ttfnifer (at) gmail dot com. (And feel free to forward this on to friends!)
Okay, lame RIAA gags aside, the truth of the matter is that, lately, I'm far more likely to post something on Twitter than here. So if you'd like to keep up with the quotidian minutia of my life, and the countless witticisms and bon mots I toss off like so many dead skin cells, I urge you to follow me on Twitter. As one might expect, the link is:
ps. I am aware that there are methods by which one can configure their Twitter feed to populate to their LJ at specified times, but I'm not sure that I'll set this up. There's something about the moment-to-moment nature of Tweets that seems at odds with time-delaying them. Reading them as they appear, mixed in with tweets from many other friends, offers a very different experience from reading them in asynchronous chunks, something akin to dipping ones feet into a moving river of collective brain-sweat, eddies of geist swirling in the zeit around your toes.
I'm sure that sounds more than a little crazy, but try Twitter for a month or so (especially on a mobile browser, like iTweet.net or Thincloud) and tell me that you don't agree.
Once again, it's time to come out and get your SPELL on. The beautiful disaster we lovingly call "The Buzzed Bee" returns TOMORROW NIGHT (Thursday 5/24) at its NEW VENUE, the incomparable 12 Galaxies, complete with a brand new opening "act".
Tursday, May 24th – cheap $5 cover 8pm One Man Banjo, 9pm Buzzed Bee Spelling Begins 12 Galaxies 2565 Mission Street @ 22nd
On May 24th, Crackhouses Productions proudly presents the triumphant return of San Francisco's premier adult spelling bee, THE BUZZED BEE.
New Improved Location! The 3rd iteration of the beloved BUZZED BEE will be held at the spectacular 12 Galaxies! Cleaner sound! Opening act, One Man Banjo! The audience will hear every letter that drops from your lips... I-M-B-E-C-I-E-L EEEEE! Wrong!
Of course, the famous Buzzed Bee DSYLEXIC CHEERLEADERING S-Q-U-A-B will be on hand to R-I-S-E your spirits and offer their skimpily salacious divertissements!
So come on down to the best game in town! Participants will wrack their brains and un-tie their tongues in an open competition to "bee" crowned San Francisco's BEST SPELLER, and take home the grand prize!
Ok to be honest we have no idea what the grand prize will be, but last time we gave away a car! What you don't remember the car? Well you must of missed it cause we did—or at least we meant to—it was in the flyer. Oh well whatever the grand prize is it's sure to be A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!!
Continuing today's "Star Wars" theme, here's an irresistible time-waster (at least for those of you with access to OSX): a free application that will automagically create an authentic Star Wars-style opening sequence using whatever custom text that you enter. Download it now and render your masterpiece tonight at work. Literally minutes of entertainment!
University of Rochester (whose name, as custom dictates, must always be pronounced in your best Jack Benny voice) researchers have made a pioneering advancement in "optical buffering", a technique that leverages wave-particle duality (and a cell of cesium gas) to achieve incredibly high signal-to-noise ratios at mind-crogglingly low light levels. As in: recreating an entire image (in this case, the "UR" shown above) using only a "single" photon.
In addition to being magnificently weird, this represents yet another significant step towards the holy grail of calculation (the apex of abaci?), quantum computing. And, of more immediate significance, it allowed me to make the obligatory "I'M IN UR..." reference, which I hereby dedicate to matrushkaka.
Paul Reubens makes rare live appearance... in SAN FRANCISCO!
Throw on your best Pee-wee garb and come out to Amoeba Music on Haight Street THIS SUNDAY, January 21 from 3:00-5:00 p.m. for a DVD signing session with Pee-wee Herman creator Paul Reubens!
Sunday, January 21, 2007 3:00-5:00 p.m. Amoeba Music, SF 1855 Haight St. San Francisco, CA www.amoeba.com FREE & ALL AGES EVENT
Spread the word! Let's pull out all the stops and bring the Wees out in force to greet their namesake! Further discussion and logistics for this and other Pee-wee events can be found at http://peewees.tribe.net/
And then on MONDAY... Paul Reubens is in San Francisco for SF Sketchfest! http://sfsketchfest.com/home/ Monday January 22, 2007 8pm Paul Reubens In Conversation With Ben Fong-Torres $25 Tribute Program $50 Tribute And Reception Monday, Jan 22, 8pm At The Palace Of Fine Arts
SF Sketchfest is proud to present the SF Sketchfest Tribute to Paul Reubens. Join Reubens for a spirited conversation with renowned Rolling Stone Magazine journalist and best-selling author Ben Fong-Torres, followed by questions from the audience in the beautiful Palace of Fine Arts.
Once again, a bevy of Wees and other playhouse characters will be in attendance, INCLUDING at the private reception with Paul Reubens himself! A once in a lifetime chance! Not to be missed!
Depending on who you believe, the once-proud (and much beleaguered) vessel was either intentionally set aflame or maliciously blown up.
I happened to be in a courtroom this afternoon (regarding the '04 Headless Point blaze, curiously enough) when a party who shall remain nameless received a call from another unamed party informing them that "La Contessa had been blown up" and requesting legal assistance to prosecute said offense.
Could just be more smoke, but the people involved make me suspect otherwise, unfortunately. Thus, until I definitively learn otherwise, I'm regarding this as arson.
Damn shame. I loved that fucking ship. It made its debut on the playa in 2002 ("The Floating World"), which was the the same year my crew built the Rubber Ducky. Every night La Contessa would repeatedly moor up alongside the Ducky, usually during its ongoing, Melvillian pursuit of Tom Kennedy and Flash's Whale, which would also often dock in our waters, as they presumeably constituted some sort of neutral ground (neutral water?). One of the most vivid and surreal memories of my life (which has been, needless to say, rife with vivid and surreal events) was sitting atop the duck's ass with Adrian (of Bootie and Piss Clear fame). As dozens of wildly illuminated art cars and countless ardent clubgoers filled the playa below, we watched the Whale and La Contessa swoop and zag after one another in wide, aquatic arcs around us. It was at once both unbeliveably improbable and utterly perfect.
Bon Voyage, dear Countess. May your sails smoulder all the way to Valhalla.
Given how abundantly talented my dear pals Amy Zing and Kelly McCubbin are, there is simply no way I would possibly miss this. And I heartily encourage you to join me, and add your voices to the purple chorus as we recite:
"Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called LIFE...."
The man. The artist. The musican. The guitar. Well, scrap the guitar. Because we will be presenting Prince's classic, groundbreaking album, "Purple Rain," from start to finish, on ukuleles. Lots of ukuleles. More ukuleles than perhaps you've ever seen, or ever will. Sure, there will be some xylophone, saw, washboard and spoons, but really, it's all about the uke.
Featuring 5 Cent Coffee, Stella!, Just Henry, and Kitten on the Keys!
Dressing up and singing along is not only tolerated, it is welcomed. Put on your eyeliner and frilly shirt, put your hands in the air, and say it with me......... "I Would Die 4 Uke!"